Sitting in the dark once again, Jackie waited for the familiar turn of the key to signal he was home safe. It was a night like so many before, but this time anger burned within her soul. On March 11, 2001, the life she had known was shredded through the meat grinder that is infidility. Jackie quickly spiraled out of control into a world of depression and self-loathing. Looking back, she began to see that this one incident wasn't the sole cause of her demise. A life of constantly striving to be perfect left her roots in shallow soil. And a debilitating fear persitently whispered, "It's too late for you." Would she ever be complete if not married? As her four children became impatient with the demise of their supermom, Jackie realized it was time to take an accounting of how she let herself fall so low---or lose her children too. Jackie spent months delving into her past despite wanting to run away from the task. After all, true recovery requires being brutally honest with all the pieces to the puzzle; not just the pain caused, but the role she played in it too.